why kanye west is gay.

What gangsta shoots pink lasers out of his gat? Seriously.

First of all, let me preface this post with the sincere fact that The Needle LOVES Kanye West’s music. When the video for “Through the Wire” came out on MTV, I knew he was something new and fresh for music. “808’s and Heartbreak” was just another genius reinvention of hip-hop as we know it and one of the most played albums on my iPod Touch, hands down. Beyond his music, he has been very visible as a philanthropist, a restaurateur and has performed for various charitable causes including Live Aid and a benefit for Hurricane Katrina.

Someone has a lot of free time and mad Photoshopping skills. (Not me. Promise.)

As much as I love listening to his music and appreciating the juggernaut that West has become (outspokenness and all), I am convinced that Kanye, in all of his sunglassed, popped-collared, tight-pantsed glory is a fabulous homosexual. While he has been in some seemingly serious relationships with women, I venture to produce various levels of proof from the various stages of West’s career to confirm my hypothesis; Kanye is Kan-Gay.

Exhibit 1: Soon after his debut album “The College Dropout” started showing up in stores, West persuaded Sway of MTV fame to interview him on a program, aptly named, “All Eyes On Kanye West”. In this interview (read it yourself), he confesses his love for Fiona Apple’s music, and calls out hip-hop for being homophobic. He was called a “fag” in high school and had a cousin who was gay “who he loved.” And with how politically vocal he is, he made the comparison that the black man’s civil rights struggle was similar to that of the homosexual man’s. If someone in one of the most ethnically-proud, homophobic, female-objectifying industries in America comes out speaking so staunchly against homophobia, while admittedly noble, seems a little suspect.

Exhibit 2: His nickname is “The Louis Vuitton Don.” He has penchant for Italian shoes, nice suits and designing apparel and accessories. He’s also courting various fashion houses for internships. I’ve seen enough “Project Runway” to know better; no one is auditioning for the show because of the plethora of straight guys to hook up with.

Looking fabulous, as usual.

Exhibit 3: The lyrics to “Love Lockdown” from his latest album speaks volumes to the lifestyle he could be suppressing. The confusion and theme of repression throughout is very telling (edited for repetition):

I’m not lovin’ you

Way I wanted to

What I had to do

Had to run from you

I’m in love with you

But the vibe is wrong

And that haunted me all the way home

So you never know

Never, never know

Never know enough

Til it’s over love

Til we lose control

System overload

Screamin’ no, no, no, no, no

I’m not lovin’ you

Way I wanted to

See I want to move

But can’t escape from you

So I keep it low

Keep a secret code

So everybody else don’t have to know….

I’m not lovin’ you

Way I wanted to

I can’t keep my cool

So I keep it true

I got something to lose

So I gotta move

I can’t keep myself

And still keep you too

So I keep in mind

When I’m on my own

Somewhere far from home

In the danger zone

How many times did I tell you

‘fore it finally got through

You lose, you lose

I’m not lovin’ you

Way I wanted to

See I had to go

See I had to move

No more wasting time

You can’t wait for life

We’re just racing time

Where’s the finish line

So keep your love locked down

Your love locked down…

I’m not lovin’ you

Way I wanted to

I bet no one knew

I got no one new

No, I said I’m through

But got love for you

But I’m not lovin’ you

Way I wanted to

Gotta keep it going

Keep the lovin’ going

Keep it on a roll

Only God knows

If I’ll be with you

Baby I’m confused

You choose, you choose

I’m not lovin’ you

Way I wanted to

Where I want to go

I don’t need you

I’ve been down this road

Too many times before

I’m not lovin’ you

Way I wanted to

So keep your love locked down

Your love locked down…

In the end, you can reach your own conclusions regarding the sexual preferences of Kanye West, but I feel the aforementioned exhibits illustrate my point that if not gay, West is at least bi-sexual.

I’m not going to quit listening or impatiently anticipating the ingenuity of West’s next musical conquest.

…But I am not going to be able to restrain myself from changing the lyrics to “Love Lockdown” to: “I’m not loving you/Way I wanted to/In your poopshoot/I wear Armani suits…”

~ by ashpash on February 5, 2009.