live blog: mtv vmas
I don’t know that I’ll last all that long at doing this because there may be a moment where I need to go slit my wrists for the completely tragic lack of morals and priorities that will be showcased. But here goes. Its my first time, so be gentle..and refresh as you see fit. Comment after the jump too. Here we go….The Needle’s live blog of the MTV VMAs!
8:04: Sway is in a helicopter? Gangsta!
8:06: Taylor Swift looks gorgeous. Is she legal or am are men country-wide going to jail?
8:09: Confident Katy Perry’s fame has gone directly to her head.
8:14: Holy shit Katy Perry’s secret guest is Miley Cyrus?! This is like wrong in 42 ways.
8:15: T-Pain is on an elephant. I’m speechless. Yes, I know what you’re saying, Mr. Pain.
8:18: Back to my Tay-Tay. Pink actually looks really good. Very pretty.
8:24: Panic at the Disco has an Econoline van. Fr rls. It’s after Labor Day. No more white.
8:26: Nice granny panties, Katy Perry. Miley being here with Katy is like showing up to the bar with your drunk, barfly mother who is -like- the star of the townie bar. Yikes.
8:28: I don’ care how much jack and weed Kid Rock gets into. I fuckin love that cat. Michael Phelps = jackedupgrill.com. Amazing athlete – but teefies….UHH!
8:29: Scratch the last post. I love Russell Brand, no matter hwo much meth or coke he ever used. The commercials for this years VMAs are right up there with any one’s in history. Nancy Reagan and Barbara Bush are going to recreate the Madonna and Britney lesbian kiss? Brilliance.
8:33: I love Dance Crew. I just don’t understand why Asians are so into it. Nice outfits, Kaba Modern – Buckeyes colors. I just don’t really get Fanny Pak. Wedding costumes? I liked Kaba better.
8:37: OMG, LOLZ, teh JoNaS bROtheRs!!!!!1!!1
8:43: OMG, SRSLY, Christina. That’s my crush. Screw the Jonas’. I can’t wai to see her. Didn’t know she was part of the show tonight!
8:46: Slipknot, thanks for not taking this seriously. I didn’t really know you were even making music anymore, but whatevs.
8:47: OMG, Britney is opening?! There was so much talk about her being in, being out….this could be the biggest clusterfuck of all. PLEASE do some drugs beforehand..and I hope you got your terrible weave before the show today, love!
8:50: Taylor Swift just molested Ashlee Simpson’s belly.
8:52: Paramore came in Smart Cars. Nice bow tie Hayley. Yikes.
8:59: OK…..drum roll please…..
9:02: Scratch and scratch. Love Jonah Hill.
9:03: Considering everything, Britney looks seriously unbelievable. I need to use loads of drugs, be manic depressive and lose custody of my kids. It does wonders for your ass!!!
9:05: Rihanna’s a little scary, but I still don’t think I care. I’d still almost do her and I like dudes. And I think she wants to do me.
9:10: Russell Brand. I love you, homie. But shit. No one wants a foreigner telling us how to run our country. I Barack and I roll too…but this is actually, tonight…YEAH…its about music. No shit right?
9:17: “TI, I see you got your bail money…yeah…you know I just playing…you know I’m kidding….Dont shoot me.” – I love Jamie Foxx.
9:18: Brit-Brit’s first female video VMA! Congrats, nut job!!!
9:27: No wonder Ashton is with Demi. She looks unbelievable for 83. She (and her vagina) must be magic.
9:31: I thought when the Jonas Brothers performed, girls heads were supposed to explode…but they have them out on the door step of 227. Ah! There they are! Run, little bitches run! Whoa! Some Jonas just screamed like Howard Dean! Fine fine…that middle, singing one is kinda hot.
9:36: Paramore plays the Whisky? STFU. The Doors, Zeppelin, anyone who ever was anyone played there, not the flavor of the week…maybe they’ll let me play if I show up with my clarinet from high school.
9:43: I didn’t get Leona Lewis at all. But A Milli kicks my whole ass. Hey Lil Wayne…you need to get more tattoos. Maybe with your “millies” you can buy a whole other person to put more ink on. And Psst…don’t look now but your pants are completely down. Completely. And your friend Mr. Pain has a lot of look going on. Was that Ghetto Sgt. Pepper?
9:49: I’m sorry but if you’re nasty and slutty and have your titties out, don’t thank God in your acceptance speech. kthnxbai.
9:56: Ashlee Simpson must not be a complete retard…because I do like Pete Wentz and I trust that he doesn’t marry and impregnate retards.
9:59: Avril Lavigne needs to take a lesson from Hayley and the dudes in Paramore. That’s how you Eff Es UP.
10:13: I love this Pink song. I might be a douche but whatever. It sounds like an Irish fighting song. This song makes ME want to fuck up Carey Hart and and I don’t even know that dude.
10:22: Yeah. Ashlee and Pete are kinda cute.
10:35: Sorry. The SM got home from work. I missed a little. Other than Rihanna singing the Numa Numa song .
10:42: I will buy anything Christina sells me. She culd sell me shit on a shingle and she’d be rich off my money.
10:46: Tokio Hotel for best new artist? Are you serious? Beating Taylor and Miley? Thank your fans and God…and David Hasslehoff. And Thank God….we’ll never see you again.
10:50: Do you think LL Cool J works out at all?
11:01: Why is no one up dancing and jamming for Kid? I’d be shaking my shit.
11:07: This is getting very anticlimactic quickly.
11:11: Good for you, Brit. I’m glad everyone wants you to do well. I think your whole existence has been so sad as of late that everyone was just glad that you aren’t dead.
11:14: Kanye time. The reason you don’t win anything Kanye is because while you have some good beats and you are undoubtedly talented…plain and simple…your songs are too plain and simple. Repetitive.
Well that is it folks. Thanks for coming along on this ridiculous journey with me. Through the highs and lows, you were right there with me. I appreciate your support…and now its time for me (and the SM for a change) to go to bed. Harr-r-r–r-r-r-re Krishna and Good night!
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